I have no idea with this entry. I just wanna log down what I've thought today in the car. Looking back these past few years ever since I have left school... I've actually turned myself into a monster. I mean a REAL monster. A monster to my mom, a monster to my family, a monster to my friends, a monster to all my relationships, and a monster to my future!
I BINGE ON EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING!
on chocolate, alcohol, nicotine, char kuey teow, milo ice, sugimoto, thinking. I can binge on anything until I isolate myself so much! I became too obsess with something and the something kept me occupied and I tend to lose myself. Friends, babes and dudes, I didn't mean to hide myself away from you guys. It's just me. It's just the stress that keeps coming. And that's what ppl always blame on stress. Stress stress stress stress. Alritey, I know.
My addiction to bad habits has gone mild now. Hey you, I'm no no alcoholic no more baby...... I drink on occasion. Well, I don't mind invites if you have one... tee-hee.
Hey, it's a new fucking year to start on again. I've temporary moved back home, thinking it's a new way to start my year now cos of all the disaster happened. I actually do miss the home there... Cos I would really really have my own time when Nam's not around or I really really could just have my own quiet time to breathe. Sometimes you wouldn't feel like going home cos your mom would question you, your sis would make noise and do some irritating act and your bro would just be doing his own things. Pratically, none of us communicate well.
Having the 2 introduced to my family doesn't make the crowd happier. =( However their presence light up my day. Right now, I'm potty training them... They do learn real fast. I'm glad I'm their owner. I am really falling in love with them so so so so much. Somehow, today I did messaged Nam and said I somehow still miss Princess... I think I love her a lot. I just can't let her go so easily as it's so unexpected. Probably it's the feeling of love although she has stayed with us for the few days. How do I interpret this feeling? I wouldn't know.
I've not even loved someone as much as I did to her before. It hurts so much and so deep. Well, please do not compare with life & death la...
I had a chat with someone today. Talking bout how we women need security. I'm not quite sure whether it is right that i think in certain ways in a relationship. Speaking of security, many women out there are searching for security in feelings and heart. and why some times we woman get fuck for asking for one? I hate it when the sparks goes off and the other half doesn't even care to make up to it. And sometimes, they would turn around and say how women would blame the whole world except for themselve. Sounds familiar to you? Yes, you're on the right page. These guys are just typical guys where they have no idea how girls have to go through PMS! Bollocks!
Oh alright, even a dream that could get me win lottery relates to my insecuritiness. Tell me about it! Unfortunately, Nam was not aware that he had to buy 3 rounds of lottery in order to win. I could have gotten some money to buy a freaking nice bag. =(
Nitey...... Emo emo emo emo emo
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