Blankard went on a bust and lasted for.....

oh, it was dad's birthday. mom and sis ordered a cake from secret's recipe.

at first, tot he went to china and we didnt have to celebrate for him. didnt know he would come back today til yesterday night. he was home for dinner after aunts and grandmas and couzzies' round. for the first time of the year, i was around for their special occassions. so, i guess i'm not that bad daughter after all. heh. anyway, had good night with aunts catching up lotsa stuffs. the usual thing, gossips.

ok. i had a bad dream two nights ago. i felt so bad, so angry, and yet, so guilty that it is still on my mind. i don think i'll share this dream with anybody. a bit anxious but, i'll learn to move on.


hmmmm.... think the post menstrual is killing me.. always my pre menstrual, i will get anxious easily. post, will be damn moody. didnt want to do anything. nothing interest. even losing appetite. i hate this feeling.. any happy supplements to recommend?

think i'm out of control to hurt my surrounding ppl, ppl that's close to me... reli wish this will end. i cant even recognise a farking shit prob of mine. i seriously donno how to handle things. just got some talk by aunt, still, i wish my heart listens to her. i wan a break, but will this help? i'm still the blankard. i feel, rather awkward being this way.. seriously i hate the feeling of things dont go my way.. it's bothering but, i have no one to hear me whine or shall i say, i'm over protective of my feelings?